My Site Took 6 Years to Make

Okay, it is kind of a clickbait.

Since I graduated High School, in 2020, and got into programming, I always wanted to have my own website, a mix of a portfolio and blog where I could post what I was working on, what I was feeling and what I wanted to make. However, I was stubborn and had a bad mindset.

Built From Nothing

A lot of people, when they start programming, think they need to make everything themselves or else it would be cheating. I don’t know if that changed with AI. A site that I didn’t make everything wouldn’t feel mine, and so wouldn’t be valid. But then, when would that logic stop? Using TailwindCSS would be cheating? Bootstrap? It makes no sense at all.

I did use a framework to build it. I did use a theme for the initial design. I did use a free hosting service with no setup at all. So what? Did my website get worse because of those things? I don’t think so. Most people don’t even know what HUGO is, why do I care if I used it or not? This website existed only in my mind, and now it exists everywhere. It is a beautiful concept.

The Consequences

This project could have existed, at least, 4 years ago. If I stopped being a prideful bum and just agreed that I didn’t have the design planning and effort to build my own site from the absolute scratch, I could have a lot more of myself out there.

This is a mindset that is in everything of my past: games, art, programming and writing. I need to understand that nothing is built from scratch, and that’s okay. I thought I would be judged; “Oh, you didn’t build this yourself, so it means you’re not that good”, but I learned in customer service that most people’s opinion are not worth listening to.

The Future

Do I promise to keep this site active forever? No. Unfortunately, I usually give up on things, but I will try. Since I read NO ONE IS GOING TO BUY YOUR GAME, it changed my life for the better. I don’t care what other people think, and I don’t care if what I make is garbage; it must exist, since it didn’t exist. I can only hope I will get more skilled as things come into this world.

I’m writing this an hour since my website came online, so I won’t elaborate much on my thoughts of how the fear of judgement and perfectionism destroys our creative will, that’s a post for another day.